Hormonal Changes
You are considered to be in menopause
when you have gone 12 consecutive months without a period. But it’s not like
flipping a switch. It may take one to several years, a time known as perimenopause,
for you to go into menopause. During this time, your hormones are in flux,
which means you may have your period some months and not others, and you may
notice a range of related
symptoms, from hot flashes to changes in mood, sleep and sexual desire.
During menopause, your level of estrogen takes a plunge, which can
decrease your desire for sex and also make it harder for you to reach orgasm.
Reduced estrogen levels also lead to physical changes, such as reduced vaginal
lubrication and elasticity, which can result in pain or discomfort for some
women during vaginal sex.
The Bright Side
It can seem like the changes during menopause are working against
you, but when it comes to sex, there are many positives as well.
For example, once you’re in menopause, you no longer have to worry
about unintended pregnancy, which can be quite freeing for many women. (Just
remember that until you are fully in menopause, pregnancy is still possible,
even if your period is not regular.)
In addition, no longer having your period means you won’t have the
bleeding, cramping and other effects that can make sex more challenging for a
few days every month.
In terms of minimizing the impact of menopause on your sex life,
there are an increasing number of options:
·
Hormone replacement therapy can help with several
menopause-related symptoms, including vaginal lubrication and elasticity.
·
Lubricants can also provide relief from vaginal dryness. Silicone-based
lubricants, such as Uberlube, last longer than water-based ones and don’t break
down condoms like oil-based products. (Even if you can no longer become
pregnant, condoms offer protection against sexually transmitted diseases.)
·
There are several water- or oil-based products available over the
counter that can be applied to the genital area to help you experience
increased desire and arousal. They help open your blood vessels, increasing
blood flow. Be sure to read the packaging as some may not be suitable for use
with condoms.
·
Some women find vibrators or clitoral stimulators help to increase
their arousal and satisfaction.
·
Getting creative can also help. Try new positions or techniques to
see if something works better for you. For example, some women find being on top
gives them more control and reduces discomfort.
External Factors
No matter your age, external forces also play a major role in your
sex life. Everyday stresses, caretaking responsibilities, illness, injury and
more can all take a toll on both you and your partner, making intimacy more
challenging. Unless those issues are addressed, your sex life may take a back
seat.
There is no right or wrong amount of sex you should be having.
Some people find they are fine with less sex and find more pleasure in other
forms of intimacy. Others find their desire increases, especially when children
grow up and move out, or when work stress is reduced after retirement.
Open Conversations
Talk
to your health care provider about any challenges or questions
you have about your sex life or changes you experience during menopause. We
provide caring, fact-based information without judgment, and can help you find
solutions for sex in menopause
that are right for your needs.
